Wednesday, October 05, 2005

ByeBye Life, Hello Couch

This fall I have a very extensive network tv viewing roster and it is seriously killing my "real life". It's gotten so bad that the only weekday that I can run errands, go to meetings or just work a little overtime is FRIDAY.

Monday- No way am I leaving myTV. Prison Break will be on any minute now. Nothing clears away the "Case of the Mondays" like a good long stare at Wentworth Miller's (Michael Scoffield) cold scheming blue eyes fixed on another person that he can cruelly manipulate. Mmmm HOT. I like his brother too, I think because he played Dracula in the third Blade. I like men who were vampires at one point. Strange but true. But I don't get why the women are just so...Meh...in comparison?

Tuesday-OK I admit Tuesday doesn't extract the same level of intense loyalty. My Name is Earl has been pretty good. Supernatural is better than most people think, and the boys are kinda pretty. The Office is satisfying in the sense that it's nice to see your entire day rehashed on the small screen. Kinda makes you feel like you matter or something. But truly, I might be staying home on Tuesdays due to laziness.

Wednesday-Are you shitting me? It's completely ALL ABOUT LOST! That would constitute a "nuff said, but I don't know when to stop typing. No other show makes me yell maniacally in frustration like Lost does. I have spent every Wednesday at 9:59pm screaming "NooooooOOOOoooo!" Here's the rub, Veronica Mars is on at the same time as Lost. VM is such an unexpectedly great show that I feel guilty that I'm watching Lost, but missing even a second of Lost is like losing one of your children.(yeah I obviously have no kids). But by not watching VM I'm contributing to the show's departure...I need Tivo. And a Life.

Thursday- Alias. Must watch Alias. Mmmm Sydney & Vaughn Smallville whenever possible. mmm Tom Welling.

Friday- The TV guards bring in the keys and the codes and allow me to roam free for two days.

Saturday- The Secret Service, using pervasive satellite locating technology beam me with radioactive waves which activates an embedded microchip in my brain. This causes me to collapse immediately into REM sleep.

Sunday-Simpsons, Family Guy, Desperate Housewives. And so the vicious cycle renews itself.

Help!

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